worked up. choked up.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Hey everyone. Haven't had the chance to blog properly since I started working at Ruma's again. I was planning to get home early today and sit and blog but I've totally lost the mood. I'm so messed up right now? To an extent that I can no longer describe the feeling. I can't do anything but to go with the flow. Everyday, I find out something new about society in general. Today I discovered something else. When you're someone like me, people don't hesitate to hold back their words. Just because I'm this way, doesn't mean that I don't get hurt. The worst part of everything that's happening to me right now is that it's all my fault. I can't justify anything I've done and I'm finally at a stage in life where I'm just assuming that this is the way I am. Sickening feeling and I'm still trying to find a way out of this. Bleah. Here's the thing about life, the moment you let yourself fall, you'll think that it's okay to keep falling. I don't think it's okay to keep falling. And I think I've said this in earlier posts, I think it's perfectly okay that I'm unhappy on the inside. I'm perfectly alright with lying to myself and putting on a happy face. After all, I don't have my own energy. Honestly, if the people around me bore me to death, I become just as boring. Lol. I suck energy. Don't have my own. Right now I just need the positive energy around me. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I'm looking forward to tmr. To more surprises and more experiences. New experiences that will teach me something new that may or may not help me get through the next day. Have a good week ahead everyone.
LoveLots.
