what i would really like, is to punch you.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Honestly I know I haven't blogged in the longest time ever but wtf. I work work work the whole damn day, then I get that fella to send me home and I always go to bed more frustrated than how frustrated I was getting up at 8.30am that morning. So here, i've come to say, fuck you Vijay. I don't ever want to be nice to you again. Sure you're older and your temper's to be feared. I fear you honestly. So much that I literally get a fever standing around you these days. What frustrates me more is that my temper is as bad as yours and I can't fucking show it because you might just fucking kill me. Like last night I felt like slapping you but I knew I couldn't run as fast as you. My face will probably break the moment your hand comes into contact with it. Fuck. I'm trying so damn hard with you but I feel like I'm going no where. You told me once that I should leave a message if I want to leave you. Last night you asked me if I was going to leave you that message cause I accidently broke your helmet. Well guess what? I too know how to play mind games. I'm pretty experienced with mind games despite my age. I started my game the moment you asked me what my name was under block 175 that Wednesday we met. Oh btw everyone, I broke his helmet by accident yesterday. Cause he yelled, I freaked and dropped it. I dropped it and it broke. That crap is supposed to withstand an accident? Murale was right. I'm paying to get my death in the form of a drivers' license. All I can say now is, go to hell man. Seriously. I have had enough of being little miss sunshine for you. I play rough so I hope you like the ride that's coming. On a happier note, I made new friends today. Smoking corner buddies rather. His name is Chang Yi. Cute fella. He's like the gang leader for the 10 or so Pizza Hut delivery boys at Thompson plaza. I'm now friends with the cleaner, the 7-11 people, the Yakun Kaya people, the laundry cum tailor and the ladies who make the best iced milo at the thompson plaza kopitiam. This is what full-time at Ruma's collection does to you. I pushed sales to the max today. Overall sales, 5K. My personal sales, 2.2K. Kept me happy till I got out for a stick 4 hours later. Oh another random and totally unbelievable thing happened. I forgot Arun's birthday. Wth is wrong with me? How easy can it be to forget the birthday of someone you were once crazy in love with? Oh wait, it's not easy. I don't even know if i forgot it genuinely or if my mind tuned itself to tell me that it doesn't matter if we made out 4 months or so ago it's still over. I think I genuinely forgot cause I woke up yesterday with a " Shit!". Told you my days are getting crappy. Logan is way to distracted. I don't even know what he's doing. One minute it's "hey beauty i miss you ):" and when I reply it's no response. I don't chase. I just keep going. Which is exactly what I'm going to do now. Classy women, don't chase. They don't show how cheap they can get and they most certainly won't be afraid about people findind out about their whereabouts/activities. I don't want guys in my life. Can I just stick with girls? Is going against the will of nature such a bad idea? Frankly, I don't give a damn. If we spend half our lives deciding on what's right and what's wrong, when are we going to get to live it? Why do we have to choose to do the right thing? Who says right has to be the one we pick? I'm going with wrong. The more wrong I do, the more free I feel. I like being free. Free to be me.
I'm so angry right now? Fuck the world.
Ragini.
