men, with their heart in their balls.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I absolutely detest men. I was in a 7 year relationship with him and he STILL hasn't gotten the fact that I DON'T take Bullshit for an answer. Now he's acting like the same idiot depite being just friends. To hell with trying to work things out with you. Seriously, they make you fall head over heels for them, they break your heart because they have the power to, they make you feel like an idiot and they expect you to stand by them when they're in shit. Either that or they flirt, fondle, fuck and flee. Well screw you.
Why am I so ticked? Because, Murale called saying he's at home. Didn't go to work. So I asked casually, you wanna come down for lunch? It'll be fun? I wasn't even DONE yet when that idiot was like " oh I have to go get my mc like now. " And I was like, Bye. WTH. Why can't you TRY. He lacks initiative. Totally lacks it. If there's one thing i hate more than lazy people, it's people who totally lack initiative. But I suppose that's the same thing right. I used to tell him that he got me expensive things when we were together just to avoid me asking for more intimate/romantic things. LAZE. Okay, here's the thing. I don't hate him. I can't. Afterall, I once thought he was my world and wanted to die when he cheated on me. I think 7 years with this fool has made him an irreplaceable part of my life in some way. I don't go looking for love or a relationship or whatever. I don't even believe in true love. I hate all the little mushy things like love notes on post it pads and smiling to myself whenever I got cheesy SMSes in the morning during lectures. I did like those little things at first. Until I got sick of it. I don't know how, I don't know why. By the way I'm not talking about my relationship with Murale. I've had relationships other than that one fyi. I don't know how I fell out of love. I don't know why. But I'm certainly happy to be out of it for now. I can do without a significant other for some time I'm sure. A certain someone asked to meet up before he becomes too caught up serving the nation. At first I thought I'd end up going anyway. But after a while I realised, I really don't feel like seeing him. You bring back way too many memories and we were once, crazy about each other. To some extent, you more than me. But crazy about each other nonetheless. The last few times we met, we ended up doing things we were not supposed to. You ended up cheating on your girlfriend and well, I was just glad to be back home at 6am on a Monday morning. I'm never the one to preach on morals but I guess what happened was wrong. And it'll happen again. Everytime you see my face. Everytime you touch my hand. Everytime you reach out to touch my face when you're driving. You're crazy and I'll always love you as that best friend I fell head over heels for. But that's it. I'm moving on with my life. I already started some time back actually. I realised I don't feel any different about the both of them. It's not that I don't have feelings. I feel happy just being with my family and my friends. I don't see why I need an extra person in my life to make it anymore special. I know for a fact, many people are in relationships because they don't want to go through the hassle of looking for a life partner later on. Then there are those who are truly in love. Whatever the case, if you're in love, I don't think it'll hurt at all. If you're in love, nothing I've said so far in this post will matter.
LoveLots,
Ragini(:
