In Good Spirits!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
It's day, 10! I'm in excellent spirits! Actually i've been in this oh so happy mood for the last two days! And i really wanted to blog about it but it kept slipping my mind. So, here is am. I went to town with my dad and sibs just now for breakfast. I'm getting pretty used to people not turning twice to look at me anymore. Not bragging or anything but i used to be able to do that. And then i realised, how fucking shallow the world really is. How fucking shallow I'VE been. Seriously. Looks, looks and looks. Actually i'm not that shallow. I've dated guys nobody considers hot. Even Satya said so when he was messaging me last night. Why do you always go for guys who look like crap, he asked. And i said, because guys who look like crap treat you like gold and guys who look like gold treat you like crap. Made sense? Just look at Seal and Heidi Klum. Them vs Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Oh wait, Rumor has it that Brangelina are Overrrr. So yeah. Not that Seal's ugly or anything. He's actually pretty sexy in his own way. Heidi thinks he's the most beautiful person in the world. They have to be in love. Really. So yeah i figured there's no point looking good for anyone because in the end that's all they appreciate you for. Don't you think that's shallow? "Hi my friend thinks you're pretty can you pass him your number?"/ "Hi the guy in the _____ coloured Tshirt there wants your number". I'm sure MANY of you girls reading this blog(and yes, i know roughly how many) have had experiences like that. Honestly, i've given my number away once or twice. Sometimes i lie that i'm married and when i feel terribly bitchy, i say i don't speak tamil. Which totally puts them off cause they start thinking you're some arrogant idiot of a girl who thinks tamilans are too low class for her etc. Truth be told, Yes you are. You ARE too low class and when i grow up and marry a lawyer/doctor/teacher/businessman, you're going to be signed on in the army and looking to lead a mediocre, middleclass life. I'm middleclass yes, but always aspire to come out of that and achieve something greater. Sorry if i'm being too harsh but what are you guys looking at? Why can't you ask a girl for her number based on how intelligent she is and how witty she is and how well she can hold a conversation? Of course not. Because all the smart girls are always too smart and never too pretty. Of course not. I'm not being a "shallow person"-basher here or anything. I already admitted to loving the attention i got when i looked nice and all. But it's like this late realisation that hit me when i was out just now. I know my face isn't going to stay this way but it's TOTALLY a lesson learnt. Why should girls feel ugly just because boys don't think they're good enough simply because they're not pretty? Define
beautiful dammit. Girls, i know you love the attention but don't take these fools seriously okay. Your life, has just begun. You're young, talented and beautiful in your own damn way. There's going to be someone more charming, more handsome, more intelligent and also more capable of taking care of you, coming along in a few years time. You don't want to have to tell him you dated a bunch of losers do you? But then again, it's not only guys who are that bad. Girls are just as shallow. I was just as shallow. Some girls don't see the good in guys. They look for blonde hair, Skinny bodies, Whether the guy dances in the case of most indian girls. What about the good guys? I admit to being shallow. Really. The moment i felt he wasn't good enough, i'd just let him go. And i didn't care how i hurt him. Talking to Pravin lately taught me a lot of things. I watched him go through shit. Really shit shit. The way he was pushed to the limit. Today is his 1 yr anniversary. I'm happy for him. He's gone through a lot and he deserves to move on. A part of whatever happened will be in his heart forever, yes, but it's going to do him good. He's always given me good advice and i don't feel good enough to give him any advice but really, he's such a good friend and when i watched him go through so much, i was pretty much hopeless. One year ago, he was hopelessly in love. Today, it's the girl's loss. Really. Sucha a gem of a person and for once i can say, a Man. I know you're reading this Pravin, I really love you for the person you are and i hope life goes great for you. Get a good job, stabilise yourself and the real women will come. You'll get your love. One that deserves the goodness you can give. (:
On to more significant things. I don't know if you guys heard about the death of the Master Warrant Officer Jaga yesterday. His military funeral is today. He was 45. He collapsed after a run. It's becoming more common these days. And more frightening. My dad's going for his funeral later. I may not know him personally but i think i can relate to his family's pain. Sometime last year, while my father was in Thailand on service, his heart expanded cause of over-exercising and he had to go for stenting. We were shocked, worried and devastated because my father is a very healthy person. He loves running and all kinds of outdoor activities. But it still happened. And this is a very real thing. All these military personel suddenly collapsing and everything, SAF should really launch an in depth investigation to find out how their men are training and personally look in to each and everyone's capability versus what they are really doing. Is it too much? Are they pushing themselves too far? The Singapore Armed Force personelaren't just soldiers. They're People. Individuals. Sons, Fathers, Brothers, Uncles and friends who have people who love them to death. If these men are just falling and having their lives cut by at least half then is it worth serving the country anymore? It's not the men to blame anymore SAF, It's you. Get it Done.
My dad is a Warrant officer. I have friends whose dads are WOs. Brothers who are WOs, Uncles who are WOs. I have nothing left to say to anyone about this anymore. Rest in peace MWO Jaga.
Okay guys, i'm going to go off now. I'll blog later at night. The weather's terrible today. It's a good day to swim and get a tan. Sadly i can't swim. So yeah it's not a good day. Haha okay i'm hallucinating from the heat. Bye!
LoveLots,
(:
